An oath for heroes, villains and ghosts in Bollywood

    Oath for heroes and heroines

  1. I swear that I will never ever be skeptical about love because I know in the end I will have to believe in love
  2. I will never ever show enemity towards hero/ heroine in the beginning as I know finally I will have to fall in love with him/ her
  3. I will always look out for exact opposites of my character as they would finally end up as my romantic partner
  4. If l look nerdy, I am going to immediately get a haircut and remove my glasses as these would invariably turn me into extremely smart and handsome
  5. I am not going to have another boyfriend/girl friend other than the hero/heroine, as they have this tendency to turn out into assholes/imbeciles/villains in the end
  6. If I have extra-ordinary fighting abilities, I will not show reluctance to exhibit my abilities, as anyways finally villain will force me to fight
  7. I will not waste my time fighting evil business men and corrupt politicians initially through lawful means as I would any way be killing them off in the end without any regard for law
  8. Oath for villains

  9. I will not kill irrelevant characters for some minor reasons, just to demonstrate to the audience that I am really evil
  10. If by any chance I capture the hero, I would end him immediately with a bullet without lengthy dialogues or elaborate slow killing schemes
  11. I swear that I will not divulge the details of my evil plan to the captured hero as you cant trust him to die
  12. I will not shave my head, or grow weird moustaches and beards or get superfluous tattoos
  13. Oath for ghosts

  14. I will not waste 2 hours of screen time just trying to taunt and scare the protagonists but would kill them off the first time I set my eyes on them (which I would anyway be trying to do in the end)
  15. I will not allow cats, creaking doors, spiders, owls and weird watchmen to steal my thunder
  16. I will try to keep my face clean and devoid of fresh blood
  17. I will never ever wear a white sari or long black coat
  18. I will resist the temptation to take lifts from people driving alone on isolated roads
  19. I will get the necessary orthopaedic treatment such that my head or limbs don’t turn around in its own axis
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